When you find someone alike, it frustrates, it challenges and interests. Period!

Come and come along his world~ Different yet similar. If echoes are same and songs are same, each time you two open your mouth, you create connection..or magic in some cases. (At least, in mine!) Then it breaks because it doesn’t MEANT to be. Wham! 

Stroll past some years. Memories forgotten, ink dried. And you see someone smiling in similar way. It reminds of dried forgotten itch again. So, it frustrates yet excites. That is my present state of mind and title is ‘Go Away.. I was in peace’

There is one more thing which is discovered-  When alone and thinking, that tinge of coldness is the most comforting. It helps to feel  THE NULL – the only state after which I can think. It is like a full stop; Or, a long sentence without any words.

Stupid heart knows it is escaping from something, hidding in the place- in a dream or a la la land. It wants to await or doesn;t want that phase to come. Where it is right now, it is happy, satisfied and comforted.. in slices but I wish with HONESTY. And I want to feel this relentless cold night because I want that NULLNESS. It is easy and helps to escapes. I want to write; maybe a novel. A dream – tiring for me to read.

One passing thought of Honesty : When I can’t reread what I write, why would others. And, something somewhere near the heart, lungs and stomach pit holler back – because you want to write. You want to tell a story. :)

each day wid him

Suddenly the early morning’s blue sky have started being magical. And, so is the smile on my face. Reason I feel is, Love. I didn’t realise it in beginning but gradually, with each day passing, with growing knowledge about him, I can’t seem to be less excited ! Love is a cute feeling. Very cuddling, very touchy and very hug related. It brings the child within – who yearns for a cuddle, a smile, a magic.

Can’t write more about it… but waiting for this feeling to get stronger day by day. With love, he has also gained respect in my eyes. And, I am happier because of this fact Glee !!

answer : Not doing the things which you like..

I think, I need to remember this everyday and do what I always enjoy…writing.

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I was out and rude, confused and disturbed.. Whining out loud!!

I don’t need my 364 friends. They doesn’t seem too real was my problem.

:-/

Someone came near to left ear to whisper

“We try to make so many friends – of so many types

Liking the likes of everyone and adjusting to their psyche

Forgetting about the dearest dear- the Me of Me, Myself and Irene”

I am friends with Irene, Rene and Sam.

But stupidly forgot about myself.

Now when I have found the girl looking like me,

Who laughs when I laugh and have tears in eyes when I cry

I found a true mate inside… and let me call it My soul.

Happy and relieved!

God chuckles ‘When you are happy, you will find good things happening’.

My favorite track playing nearby – Meri Chunar, by Falguni Pathak. haayee

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People are complex and funny. I can sit and laugh about them. I can just play around with one and other. The only true person I know is – MYSELF . It really doesn’t matter what I am doing is right/wrong because there is nothing called as right and wrong. It is very subjective and dilemna causing. Sad, yet true.

I wish morality disappear or new laws invent for it. Maybe that can ease me bit.

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The road looks like bagnio house

I look right, people hopping to chat with giggliest

And giggliest assess the heaviness of their pockets.

On the left, woman dressed like queen lures a boy in…

He knows it will be a rush for some time, yet falls to vices

I look straight, full of ditches and mud,

Who cares about the potholes in between – because eyes swaying to flying butterflies

And I am back in Office room,

It seems same but in a hidden way- Ugly yet flashy

The big guy always smiling and the talking TV giggles every time.

I look down and smile – Yes, I am still in the same house.

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P.S : Happy to found my blog – ‘my smile’. THE ever erupting volcano

In the soundless time… In the washed out smiles

Hours to days and days to weeks- suddenly like a sand slipping away

Find a way to rescue me and make everything stay.

Old strings in chaos… Broken, tangled and downy in line..

Scars finally showing on pale skin…

Blood brood the wounds that never heeled with time

This New lease is unlike the older ones I had –

The peace inherited lost somewhere in streets of Bedlam

…in moments when I needed you the most.

Follow me,

Follow the air that flows out the heart

Catch me some day, some hour at some unexpected age.

I don’t know when I’ll be dying if I be as peaceful as him.

All my laughter over the years, all my thought process, all my dreams, all my successes and my fears and a hope to conquer them one day will just mean nothing in front of the suffering. All the desires given up for a misery. I pity such death for me. For everyone… Depressing! But then if you know there is no End to this pain and the only way out is your last breath exhaled out from your body. The idea facilitates the process and the agony.

Yea, nevertheless a sadistic death again!

A man can never be happy. A man’s wishes can never be fulfilled. Today I want this, tomorrow that and day after that I want another that. Desires can never be fulfilled. Not even at death bed. Not till the last gulp of air that will make him/her a it. They are endless! And you can never make a list out of them.

But what you can do is be satisfied with ‘oh yea…at least I got these.’

At those times, we look at our achievements. ‘You know… I got that!’ ‘I also got that’.  It eases the hunger for wanting more. Satisfaction crops in! Indeed, helps to relax and yes, helps to die. However, I am not sure I’ll advocate this.

Dying can be a big word, let’s say sleep. Everyday some good wise men came along and tell to reevaluate the day before you sleep. It helps and yes motivates too…

Anyway, the main focus is desires – can never be fulfilled. Never!

And the biggest slip is that believing that desires will make us happier. I wish they really can! With this, at the end of a day, some Richard Branson would have been most relaxed, most peaceful, the happiest man in this entire universe.

Life always happens in moments – A rare thought! And the best part is it can’t be brought back. I love this part!! Just one moment needed to bring a smile, a cheer, a laugh, a tear, a pain, a twinge…. Any emotions which can be described always happened in a moment. Possibly, a whole lot of thought process working at a back-end but it take a prompt of flash to exhibit and recognize it.

It’s so true – Life always happens in moment. No other second, no other imitation can bring back the ecstasy of that time.

Try it yourself; keep on recalling the event which made you laugh like an animal. You will be happy and smiling with the memory but that first laugh, that experience – I wish it could be describable. This is life. Happening, always happening. I don’t care if it is good or bad. Best or worst! But it is continuously happening. Always in the mode of occurring!! Always!

I guess this thought will make my death easier. LOL. Though I am too young to talk about an old man’s death! But yes, this thought is more cheerful that my life will be happening till my last exhalation, till the last gulp of air I’ll puff out!!

Possibly, it was the voice of gods wandering with the swift passage of wind or blowing from the lands of gods to us earthly…passing each ear, transiting each body, touching every soul and bringing spirits alive. Eternal they live. Every heart it pervades through felt a gesture of greatness of the gods and the titans. It gradually went kind. It went humble. It went calm. It felt happiness. With those words moving from one body to another, from one mouth to another ear, to another mouth to another ear - the process continued. And so with it the language of gods changed. The pseudo gods modulated it – making it more noisy, chaotic and errrrrr.. but passing it from one half god to another. 

Modified – for good or bad, still to decide!

Actually giving it another thought, no one decides…and it is left undone! For every death, for every mortality the half gods turns into a half demon… and die. Not a good or bad thing but yet unknown to objective correctness of his wisdom, his words being processed on the scale of correctness or not? Then another question comes in light - What is Correctness? No measure, no dictionary can define it. Not even the biggest philosopher! Because not a single thought, not a single sound is complete. Pity! Dying undone, dying incomplete

*Pessimist thought, I know* 

Someone has said – “Knowledge never ends”. And yes, it is immortal. More great that a human life…More great than gods themselves. It is still moving, swifting along with the cool breeze of air in the sounds and words.

But then for every utterance occurred – life exists. For every word said – immortality exists…  In echoes, in sounds. What I said, what you said – even after our demise they’ll LAST.

Imagine! My voice will be living even after my death… moving in the air.